August 9, 2009

Concerning present feelings

I don't have intensive grief any more (for some years have passed since then), but I still feel something missing in my life.
Do I feel something missing because there I experienced real love and now not?

Well, one thing I miss is talking more about the Bible and theological questions instead of earthly daily matters. But only talking shouldn't be the aim, we need also time to practice the love..
I also miss closer sharing of life. But there we all lived in a too uniform way, so it was easier to share - to take part, to understand. It also happened on the cost of all extra-community relationships. We lived in our own world, loving (having time for) those only who were interested in our lifestyle.
To be honest, I also miss nature walks and travelling around easily. That is just what I like, and connected to love only by wish to be together with friends (who like the same). Still, only travelling and walks without spiritual talk or prayer feel somewhat empty.
There I received more attention, encouragement-admonishment, I felt more needed. But I had too little time for reflecting individually in front of God.

Briefly, there were some aspects of real love, but the love wasn't perfect there either.