Justfication and sanctification

Once at a talk about faith and deeds (after the community) I came to conclusion that one can distinguish two terms. All Christians are called saints in the epistles of the NT because we are justified or 'declared righteous' through our initial faith and repentence (change of our minds). On the other hand we still have to become more holy because our sanctification or 'making holy' is a process lasting as long as we live on earth.

 Rev 22:11b "and he that is righteous, let him do righteousness still: and he that is holy, let him be made holy still."(ASV)

One should avoid both extremes:
a) focusing on salvation: I'm saved and forgiven, I cannot loose it, I don't need to worry about my deeds nor spiritual growth.
b) focusing on good deeds so that it becomes base of salvation.

I think we should believe we are accepted by God because He is gracious. We needn't panic about loosing salvation, but anyway to be aware that if we take God too easlily, it may happen.

We want you to show this same diligence to the very end

Heb 6:9 "Even though we speak like this, [warn against falling away] dear friends, we are convinced of better things in your case — the things that have to do with salvation. 10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. 11 We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. 12 We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."

'Convinced of better things', but anyway, salvation seems to be accompanied by works of love. What to do if I think I don't have these enough in my life? Really, not easy. Right now, I don't manage much more than taking care for my little kids, and even this is far from perfect.   I'm not able to add much more deeds to my life, but I can still fight for patience, faith and other good attitudes in everything I do.
2 Pe 1:5-9 "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;  and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness;  and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins."

Saved by grace for doing good

I don't remember significant change in the theory about grace, neither in the community nor after: saved by grace for doing good. We should do what is good and right but we cannot deserve our salvation. Grace contains the power for  sanctification, for doing good and avoiding bad.
Concerning feelings, I felt rather expectation to change this or that, and not that much trust, hope, encouragement that GOD should and can change me. But also now it's rather upon myself to find such encouragement.

I agree a commenter that our heart/mind/thinking is what influences our deeds and is important for God, Paul invites us to renew our thinking/mind (Ro 12:2). Right behavior without deeper change ceases when the circumstances change. We can see it from the Old Testamet how much the behavior of Israelites depended on the godliness or ungodliness of their king.